After a long long time, it feels good to be on my own, to be - well - not so much at peace and yet be at peace... to be silent, to be alone. To feel that yes, 'I' am still alive.
And it feels like getting back to square one... right where I started (or so it seems, at least.) I am still searching, even though I did find some jumbled parts of the answer.
And yet, some things have drastically changed... some voids have got permanently filled, but it makes me want to leave some others unfilled..... perhaps for a reason to go on.
'March on, forward' is what you always said, and I am eternally grateful. But I also realize that it is not something that I didn't know: I have always marched on, and will surely do so again.
The only things that remain unchanged are these eternal doubts of mine... maybe I am a doubting Thomas, after all. Whatever I do, however things turn up, these only seem to increase instead of decrease. And your ways don't help in the least.
And, in your own words, "Silence/Is not the secrecy of words/But the eloquence of the mind." Therefore, (maybe since I understand it better,) my silence looks better to me than yours.
Forgive me.
And it feels like getting back to square one... right where I started (or so it seems, at least.) I am still searching, even though I did find some jumbled parts of the answer.
And yet, some things have drastically changed... some voids have got permanently filled, but it makes me want to leave some others unfilled..... perhaps for a reason to go on.
'March on, forward' is what you always said, and I am eternally grateful. But I also realize that it is not something that I didn't know: I have always marched on, and will surely do so again.
The only things that remain unchanged are these eternal doubts of mine... maybe I am a doubting Thomas, after all. Whatever I do, however things turn up, these only seem to increase instead of decrease. And your ways don't help in the least.
And, in your own words, "Silence/Is not the secrecy of words/But the eloquence of the mind." Therefore, (maybe since I understand it better,) my silence looks better to me than yours.
Forgive me.
